We accept the love we think we deserve

We accept the love we think we deserve.

A few months ago, I read Perks of Being a Wallflower. The entire book is written in a unique ‘letter to self’ format, which makes it interesting because the author observes himself as a third person. This perspective gives the book a fresh perspective.

Coming back to the line, “Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve,” struck me deeply.

I still don’t fully understand its meaning, but it’s why I want to write about it. Let’s try to understand it through an example. Imagine a person who grew up in a harsh social environment with an unnatural childhood. They witnessed things they shouldn’t have as children and later ended up in a relationship where they were constantly treated with disrespect and negligence. They might have come to believe that this is what they deserve.

On the other hand, consider a person who grew up in a high-born and respectful environment. If they are treated poorly, they will likely stay in that situation.

Ultimately, the conclusion I want to draw is that everything depends on the standards we set for ourselves and our self-knowledge. We need to love ourselves in a way that we want to be loved.